My Heart is a Tower

11:31 AM Edit This 9 Comments »
In my last blog, I talked about keeping a zero-count ex list, about waiting patiently and having your first and only boyfriend be the man you marry.

But you know what, I think it goes even farther than the number of boyfriends you have. What?!?! Yes, you read that right, I’m going to stack one revolutionary idea on top of another. :)

I think it’s important for us to guard our hearts even in the places where no one sees.

I have a confession to make: I haven’t been all that great at this. Although I’ve never had a boyfriend or been on a date, there are many pages in my journal filled with dreams about a few certain guys that I have allowed to consume my thoughts and my emotions. Now I wish I had let God keep a better check on me, because as they have faded out of my life they left a little heartbreak behind. We never flirted, they probably didn’t even know I liked them, but because I didn’t guard my own heart there’s a bit of an ache that runs through me when I read those old journal entries. And it also makes me wonder...will my husband be jealous someday if he ever reads them? Quite probably not, if he’s a sensible guy and knows how much I love him. But still…would I be embarrassed to show him?

When I think of a tower, like a tower on a medieval castle, I think of something strong and protected, something tall and beautiful. Not anyone can just waltz in and take up residence in it. Entrance into this tower must be earned. And that’s what I want my heart to be like. As far as romantic love goes, my heart should be just as protected as that tower. I don’t want to let anyone in who doesn’t have a right to stay there forever.

I know the picture I’m painting is a very, very high ideal indeed. But someone once said that “Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the ocean desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny.” You and I will both fail at this. I know I already have. But by determining to be aware of who I spend my love on, and even more so how freely I give that love away, I will be protecting my heart and saving ALL of my love for the one man who has earned it, till death do us part.

What I definitely do NOT want to do is bash you or make you feel guilty if you’ve already dated or had boyfriends. That may be something God has released you to do at this point in your life, I don’t know. That’s between you and him. I’m not trying to lay down the law here. The only thing I am trying to do is help you see a little more clearly the vast importance of guarding your heart. Your love is a treasure. Don’t you dare give it away lightly.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem…Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is right—and you’re ready.
Song of Songs 2:7, 5:3, 8:4 MSG

PS – Again, I would love to read your comments on this. I know I’m talking crazy talk, but is it a good kind of crazy or should I be sent away with the special doctors? ;)


Karis said...

I absolutely love this post! <3 You got down to the root of the problem, not just that we should keep our hearts pure by waiting for the right person but that we need to guard our emotions and our thoughts that no one knows about. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I know I've failed already at not completely guarding my heart but now I'm determined to do better.
"But by determining to be aware of who I spend my love on, and even more so how freely I give that love away, I will be protecting my heart and saving ALL of my love for the one man who has earned it, till death do us part."
Yes! I'm with you on that 100%. It's so so wonderful to know other girls feel the same way. "Your love is a treasure. Don’t you dare give it away lightly." Amen! I wish more people believed that and strongly stood by it! More girls need to hear that instead of the lies our culture tells us about love.
Definitely a post worth waiting for! Can't wait to read more of your thoughts! <3

Amy said...

I've actually been thinking about the whole boyfriend thing a lot lately, and if it's even worth it to have one right now when i know i'm too young for it to really go somewhere and when, in the end heartbreak and mistakes will occur. This was very inspiring to read and know that with this option, although it may be tough, it will all be worth it in the end. Thanks. :)

Britt said...

I love this! I have been praying a lot the past few months that my first boyfriend would be the man I marry, I really like this article. I've been in that same place, I've never had a boyfriend, but, I wish I wouldn't have given so much attention to certain guys. Thanks for sharing this!

Anonymous said...

Very nice! I like your thoughts. Anthon was my first everything! It has been a blessing and beautiful. But on the other hand, I was not his first girlfriend, or even fiancee. I think that God removes sooo much guilt and awkward feelings as you let Him deep into your heart and as you fall in love with your future spouse. :-) Being in a real relationship with someone you want to cherish till you die is a real eye opener. Like looking in the mirror - You see who you really are, and if you are indeed able to be lived with! Marriage will bring out your worst, and demand your best.
Keep up your ideals and keep waiting for the right time, my dear! You are truly lovely!
-Emily Hall

Brenna said...

Thats really inspiring, and Im with you 100% on all of this ^.^ Im sure it will be dificult, but Im detirmined now to make sure my heart is at all times guarded!
Thanks so much for making such a great post, and Im going to be sure to keep reading all of these!

Jose Carlos said...

great post miss! i agree that guarding your heart is very difficult especially since our frame, which the lord knows, is weak. it is not good for man to be alone(or woman for that matter)and God knows this, but it is very important to go for the companionship of God first and man or woman second. even the person that we eventually spend the rest of our lives with here will at death part with us; it's in the vows! But Jesus' relationship with us will cross that barrier between this life and the next seamlessly. I think of it like when you are on the phone with somebody and they talk to you all the way up to the moment you walk through their door; they were there the whole time without skipping a beat. it is a matter of seeking him and as the path in our calling narrows, we will find that certain someone almost fighting over the very same beam we were called to walk on and I believe we will then know they were destined to travel that same road with us.

Caitlyn said...

So so true, Carlos. Nothing else REALLY matters. I really like your phone analogy. :) With Jesus, it's "till death do us unite."

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Christ-Blade said...

I also have found this to be so true in my own life. You try so hard to watch, and to remain vigilant against anything that would intrude upon your purity of mind, body, or spirit, and yet so easily can we forget our emotions, our heart. They can be entangled with a greater ease than anything else, and with hardly a warning at all. For that very reason they need to be given extra attention, and all that you said is right on! You mentioned "crazy talk." And I just want to say that it is crazy. But if you take ANYTHING Jesus said and compare it to what the world says, it's insanity, pure and simple. But that is simply because the wisdom of God is foolishness to man, and the wisdom of man is foolishness to God. So this right here is foolishness in the sight of the world, but in God's eyes, this is beauty and wisdom. To see His children rising up from the world and walking on the path He has set for them, I believe can make Him smile. And that is worth any sacrifice we have to make.