As you may or not know, I’m pretty much in love with the Circle series by Ted Dekker. It has illuminated and completely changed so much of my life. The past few days, a few lines from White, book three, have been especially rolling around my head. It happened at a council meeting during a time of crisis among the Circle…
“Slow down,” Thomas said. “Please! This kind of division will destroy us. We must remember what we know as certain.”
He looked at Jeremiah again. “Remind us.”
I don’t know about you, but I usually tend to have a lot of questions about my life. What’s going to happen with…? Will I ever…? Why do I…? Does God really…? Most of the time it feels like there are way more things that I don’t know than things I do know.
Sometimes it’s good to go back and remember what I know for certain.
So I decided to try something in my journal. I drew a line down the middle of the page and made two lists, Things I Don’t Know and Things I Do Know. On the first list I got really gut-honest and poured out all my questions, frustrations, fears, and insecurities. I put things like:
- What to do in August or with the rest of my life.
- If/when I’m going to have a chance to truly be in love.
- How I can love God so much and betray him so often.
- What God created me for (more specifically than “loving him”).
and lots more.
I stared at that for a while. That’s a lot of uncertainty. I don’t like uncertainty. I like to know things.
So I began to write on the second list some of the Things I Do Know, things like:
- God is good. All the time. And he LOVES me.
- His plans are better than mine.
- He is writing my love story.
- His faithfulness is forever, and his mercy is new each day.
- God does NOT hold my betrayals against me.
- I really was created to love him.
- He’s got me in the palm of his hand.
- He Sees me.
- He knows I love him even more than I know I love him.
- He calls me [here I put all the precious and secret nicknames he has for me—tee-hee!]
- My inheritance and my DESTINY are in Christ.
- He is my portion.
Lo and behold, I ran out of paper before I ran out of truth.
Underneath all that I wrote in huge letters:
THIS LIST > THAT LIST.
What more do I need to know?
and at the last he will stand upon the earth.”