Diary of a Pregnant Virgin #5

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Dear Diary,

God met me again today. Twice in one lifetime… this is more than I ever dreamed. I feel like I’m living in the Scriptures.

I was out in the field just taking a walk, and when I was sure that no one was looking, I started rubbing my hand on my stomach. I know it’s way too early to feel anything yet, but just the thought that there was a tiny life growing inside me brought butterflies. Then when I imagined who this baby is, the Messiah, the son of God, Immanuel, the prophesied king of Israel, I started having a royal freak-out session. I sat in the dirt hugging my knees and hyperventilating, just shaking all over. All I could do was rock, cry, gasp—and pray. I prayed harder than I ever thought I could. I begged God to help me. I begged him to let my family understand. I begged him to tell me why. I almost begged him to just take this away. I cried out to him like David not to leave me alone in this—to help me have faith.

And then something happened. It came like a warm breeze, caressing my shoulders and wrapping around my body. It was peace, comfort, and so much love, more love than I had ever felt in my life. I felt held and protected. I felt like the hand of God was holding me, like his arms were wrapped around me and his voice was whispering in my ear. All the promises of Scripture I had ever learned came flooding back into my mind. It was as if he were saying to me personally, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for peace and not for evil, plans to bring you a hope and a future. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Slowly I felt the trembling melt away. Instead of fear I felt only peace and trust. Faith. Assurance. I still don’t know why on earth God chose me, and I still have no idea what’s going to happen. I have no more answers than before, but now I know that I am not alone. Whatever happens, my God will be with me. He promised to be.

And that makes all the difference in the world.

Jeremiah 29:11
Isaiah 41:10